a new year and all is well....so far

Well, 2011 started out right for me. I picked up the keys to a new little place i'm going to be renting...for at least the next year. Its a sweet little house with lots of potential i think...and the same goes for me. Got a nod from Cady here...it was perfect...i was leaving the move in day to go and do some more packing and i turned, and there to my left, i just glanced and gasp...on the back window of a black volkswagon bug, were the words 'I love you mom- your daughter' !!!!!! isn't that amazing? i just grinned and said thanks baby, i love you too....made my heart sing and know that i was going to be in the right place and that it was the right thing to do! There is so much to get caught up on, so much to try to do with this part of my life. I'm alone here (not literally tho i guess, i have God, angel cady and my guardian angels)...its liberating and weird and freaky all at the same time. Being on the down hill slide to 100 (ok,ok, yes, i am sitting at the very top of a long slide, but still, i stepped onto the top almost 2 years ago), gives you another chance to do something...so think. still. sigh.

Brilliant minds...which i am NOT in possession of!

Like I stated in my profile, I love to read books and magazines. I collect many more books than I can read right now, cause for the last 5 years my attention span has been a bit short. I have been preoccupied with thought of life after death and heaven....you know, mild little topics to completely occupy whatever mind you have left. I still get new books cause i'm scared I will forget them later lol, sooooo. I buy. But I digress...this post is about brilliant minds, and as stated, something that I am not in possession of. But I know people who are. One happens to be my 'little' (youngest) brother, Tim. I just found out about his blog about a plane he is building in his shop at this time. Now, just so you know, Tim has built airplanes in the past, has flown most of his life and is currently in his second year of family practice residency at a local hospital here in Jonesboro. And he is brilliant. I am in awe of him, of what he can do and how at this point in his life there doesn't seem to be anything that this brother of mine cannot do!!! Truly, anything he has ever even thought about doing, he seems to master with ease. I am the oldest and am miffed cause the mind genes got better as they went down the line. My brother Stephen (4 years younger) is also brilliant, a CPA, financial planner, and like Tim, knows a lot about darn near everything. I am also in awe of him too. He was a pilot as well in places, but my favorite on him is being a bush pilot in Alaska. He then turned to commercial salmon fishing in their village of St. Marys, AK...from there decided to go back to college and get his accounting degree. Nuff said, right?
Me...I went to school once a long time ago and got an associates degree in respiratory therapy.(in the late 70's/early 80's this was all that was required!!) I loved this job for 17 years, quit and decided at the tender age of 40 that i needed to decided to do something totally different. I am now a nail tech at an awesome salon (the jagged edge in jonesboro) and have done this work for 10 plus years now. Love it!! Need a psychology degree too with this as we do lots of 'counseling' whilst manicuring lol.
my point to all of this is...use it or lose it...Tim and Stephen both have kept going on and doing different things and just continue to amaze me. Myself, well, I have now done 2 things in my life. I think the fact that my brothers had these different jobs, and life experiences, made me want to do at least one thing other than respiratory therapy, and makes me think that if I could decide what I want to be in this next half of my life, I would change again. But, what that is, i do not know. But, the older I get, I am trying to 'use it' more...i want to...if i could just figure out what *that* is :-)))

some days....

:-) some days its not even worth chewing through the restraints.

That little saying just cracks me up and is oh so true!! Its been one of those days, weeks... Life is always changing, isn't it? And I think thats a good thing, tho I don't always like the way it turns out. Its up and down and sideways, skewed, crazy, chaotic and wonderful. I've been thinking on my life before Cady died and my life since. Again, I don't like it, but I really do think its a wonderful life. I got to spend her lifetime with her...and while thats a "duh" statement on one hand, its everything on the other. A lifetime doesn't have to be measured in units of time, does it? How about this...another one of my favorite sayings..."life is not measured by the moments of breath you take, but by the breathtaking moments". Thats it right there. I had a life of breathtaking moments with Cady, but I'm still getting them!! I'm sure she has everything to do with that too lol...she taught me, by being my daughter, to recognize those moments for what they are. Life :-) thanks darlin'

life and fun and heartattacks and cancer, ohmy!!!

This summer has been one heck of a weird summer!!! Blazing hot in june, mild and wonderful most of july....we'll see about august. I spent a fabulous few days with 7 old friends at Grayton Beach Florida, only to be called on the 6th day and told that my sweet daddy is in the hospital in the middle of a heart attack! Not fun at all to be 8 hours away from someone you love and feel helpless as well. My equally sweet bestest sister friend in the whole wide world of 36 years made the decision that we would drive home that night so that i could see daddy the next morning. He was sickkkkkk...heart was great, everything else turned on him and made him so sick for a couple of days, but all is well....because of that, they ended up finding a cancerous spot on his kidney which he just had taken out and is well on the road to a complete recovery. Again, Thank you Lord!!! Having said all of that, it has made me reflect on what is important in life and you almost always get down to the very basics of a wonderful life...healthy family, great friends that love you enough to do whatever you need and love....lots and lots of unconditional love :-)
oh, and really good sleeping pills lol. Lots of family to love on you and hug you and tell you it will all be allright and oh so much better tomorrow. For these things, I am soooo thankful.
and there is more to this summer....this is just a piece...